Earlier today I spent about 40 minutes searching for the neoprene sleeve that I use whenever I have to take my laptop out of the house. I know exactly when I last used it, several months ago. I know where I last remember seeing it, in the living room next to the couch. Obviously it isn’t there anymore, and it doesn’t seem to be anywhere. Bear in mind, I have a very small, 1-bedroom apartment with exactly 2 closets. There aren’t a lot of places it could be hiding, but I’ll be damned if I can find it.
As I was digging through boxes and drawers and old backpacks, I realized how spoiled I have become by Google. Pretty much any question I can think of — what 60 kilograms equals in pounds, the Latin-to-English translation of ‘timor mortis conturbat me’, whether Abe Vigoda is dead or alive* — I can fire up my computer and hey presto, Google has the answer. It’s entirely possible my offline finding capacity has been permanently crippled by the ease of searching the Internet.
There’s only one solution to this conundrum. Google needs to develop a new application, one that will index everything in my house and then cough up its location when I type a query into the search engine. I’m not sure how it will work, exactly; that’s for the computer geeks to figure out. But I hereby offer myself and my small but many-thing-filled apartment as a beta tester.
* These are all actual searches I have conducted in the last month. Judge me if you must, love me if you can, as Toby Keith didn’t say.